JEREZ DE LA FRONTERA

You'll need the tools for survival
And the medicine for the blues

I still had a bit of a dicky stomach by the time I reached Jerez but Spain´s wonder farmacias came to the rescue again. And if there isn´t a blog about OTC remedies in countries other than UK then there should be. After a bit more miming and looking generally fed up (who said play-acting) the lovely ladies of La Farmacia Porvera ("Para nosotros su salud no tiene horarios") came up with the goods. Some suitably serious and medical sounding stuff called Fortasec and Motilium. The latter having the appearance and consistency of well...have a guess. Sorry I have no idea if the taste is similar.

After doubling the dose, just to be on the safe side and washing it all down with something called Fanta Naranja (8% zumo), I set of in search of Jerez. First impressions were of a town that had gone tourist not least I suppose because it´s now got low cost flights and fast-ish rail links to it. Also, as the sherry industry declines (and declines) the tourist side takes up a greater role in the economy. Still apart from dual language menus it doesn´t seem to have had a great effect. Yet.

Why the decline in the sherry industry is happening is an interesting question - I´ve tried my best to keep it going I really have. There are numerous events in the UK to try and push the product but it´s not having much of an effect. I talked to some people from the Netherlands (supposedly one of the biggest importers) on the Gonzalez-Byass and the Domecq Bodegas tousr and some had never hear of GB or Tio Pepe, one its biggest brands, and said it was still a drink for old people back home.

In the UK the Working classes will view you with suspicion if you say you like a drop of sherry, the Upper classes would probably say that Xavier was a Wykehamist whereas the Middle classes will drink it but will fetishise and patronise, it and other things Spanish (see the Observer or Sunday Times for articles by the Clarks, Harts et al) in a way that completely alienates. Really these people have no clue.

Another problem with sherry is that while relatively cheap to buy for home consumption in a bar or restaurant the mark-up is surreal. I had a glass of Tio Pepe this lunchtime and it cost me around the 1 euro mark in a tourist zone. The equivalent in London probably goes for about 7 euros. As a bottle retails in UK for about the same we´re taking about a 600% markup. And they wonder why nobody´s buying it. Du-uh.

In Spain I´ve noticed in the summer at least people tend stick to beer and tinto de verano or increasingly cerveza "sin" which is a bit like an ex-meat eater trying to get a fix from a Linda McCartney Veggie Sausage i.e. completely pointless.

Anyway, the healing properties of the Sherry are well documented and I can recommend both the Gonzalez-Byass and Domecq tours. The former is supposed to be more Disneyfied but I was disappointed that we never got an exploding mineshaft on our mini-train trip. The latter tour is obviously for the more hardcore as we got a quick whizz around the bodega and then a whole bottle of Fino, Cream Sherry and Fundador between eight to have a crack at.

From a culinary, or more accurately, tapas point of view Jerez took a bit of cracking to find the best spots. At first the places I tried on spec weren´t that great but then I noticed they had a little tapas and sherry promotion going on and going to some of the participating bars proved fruitful although shame on Bar Barbianna I whose entry was Ensaladilla Rusa and Callos. Guys - you´re really not trying.

Anyway, all solid enough but a mite underwhelming compared to some other towns. They have a winner, though with one of the bet churrerias I´ve come across, just outside the small but perfectly formed market. Oh and the beers are pretty good here as well, on a par with Sevilla at least.

A very pleasant way to finish off my Andalucian visit.

SANLUCAR DE BARRAMEDA

Virtual raincoats are coming back
Hats as always continued flat

Well it had to happen. After caning it a bit for the last week and after a particulary er...stressful (in the sense that I was peeved I couldn´t eat and drink more) evening in El Puerto. I came down with the dreaded lurg in Sanlucar de Barrameda. I had the sweats, I felt weak. I managed a Serranito and a glass of Manzanilla for lunch (this is after all the home of the stuff and it´s really good - fresh and much much saltier than I expected) and went to lie down for a bit.

I woke up feeling pretty ropey so I went in search of a farmacia. Quite a difficult task on a Sunday anywhere in the World. They were all closed but helpfully directed me to one miles away. When I got there my carefully researched Spanish for "I feel a little feverish and I´m running a temperature and my stomach doesn´t feel too clever but I haven´t started vomiting yet" came out as me rubbing my stomach and going "malo, muy malo" and miming shivering signs. It seemed to do the trick and I scored the drugs.

I must have been a bit delirious though as I started wandering around the backstreets trying to find an old-school manazilla bar I had seen coming into town. I gave up the fruitless search when I went past the same TelePizza three times and headed back to the hotel. The lure of one last bite to eat with one last copa was too much though so I popped into a bar for a little seafood cocktail action. Well the pharamacist did say I should take my tablets with food.

EL PUERTO DE SANTA MARIA

And it's the long sad Sunday
Of the early resigned

I´ve just purchased 14 euros worth of freshly cooked shellfish including several types of prawn, whelks, crab claws. I walk around the corner and sit down at a table. A waitress comes up and gives me a plate, takes my order for beer and water, brings me some implements for eating the hard-shelled stuff.

The two couples walk into the restaurant.
Man 1: I think it´s a fish place
Woman 1: Why don´t you ask one of the waitresses ?
Man 2: You better ask one of the waitresses.
Man 1: You´re right mate I´ll ask one of the waitresses. Hey ! Por Favor !
Waitress comes over.
Man 1: Menu ? Mimes opening a book.
Waitress hands Man 1 a menu. Man 1 looks at it quizzically.
Man 1: Fish ?
Waitress: Feesh ?
Man 1: Yeah Feesh ? You know - PEH-SCAR-DOH.
Waitress: Ah ! Pescado - si.
Waitress shows Man One the fabulous range of fish and shellfish that the restaurant has. Man 1 looks unimpressed.
Man 1: Nah. I don´t want fish. NO PEH-SCAR-DOH.
Man 2: I don´t fancy fish.
Man 1: Chicken ? HAVE YOU GOT CHICKEN ? You know - POLL-OH.
The Waitress shakes her head. Now it´s her turn to look quizzical. The place where she works is one of the most famous in El Puerto. Famous for the 20+ varieties of boiled shellfish. Famous for its Freiduria. So famous people come from Cadiz and Sevilla just for their lunch. Everywhere you look people are eating fish.
Waitress: No hay pollo.
Man 1 shakes his head.
Man 1: Well I don´t want fish - let´s find somewhere we can have chicken or something.
Man 2: Good idea.
Man 1 and Man 2 get up and go. Their partners follow.

Romerijo has been going since 1952 and is terrific fun...but it´s not the place for chicken.

CADIZ

Drive along the sea
Far from the city's twitch and smoke

Cadiz has a population of about 150,000 but the energy of a place ten times that size. As soon as I stepped out of the RENFE station the smell of the sea mingled with frying and the odd cigarette hit me. Like many Spanish cities there is new town and and old one (casco antiguo) and although I spent much of my time in the old town the new town is worth a visit for the plethora of bars, shopping opportunities and a massive beach lined with chiringuitos from which you can just make out the northern coast of Africa - on a good day of course.

I had arrived towards the end of the week so everyone was in a lively mood, even during the siesta time (four to eight) the narrow streets were thronged with families and a lot of the bars were open.

To be honest like say La Coruna there´s not a great deal to see in terms of monuments etc. but it´s a great place to simply wander and eat and chill out. To get the lay of the land I did a little circumnavigation of the ducking inwards now and then to pick up a tapas or two and get a bit of a breeze, the interior being quite hot.

Amongst the best places I tried were Merodio which is a little hole in the wall by the mercado which serves up terrific seafood dishes like Totillitas de camarones. A lot of stuff you don´t see that often like ortigullas (sea anemones), otiones (scallops) and several types of shark. It´s noisy, t´s intimidating and it looks a bit grubby but it´s great fun and the real deal. Casa Manteca in the Barrio la Vina (the most amospheric area) is a shrine to Flamenco and Bullfighters where the beer is served in big pours and the food takes the form of sliced cured meats served on waxed paper. The chicharrones (pressed pork) served with a squeeze of lemon are very popular here. El Faro is like Cadiz´s version of JSheeky where there is great service at the bar and not over-expensive tapas which are cooked really well.

Surprisingly some of the best dishes I had were meat based. At Cumbres Mayores I had some of the best chuletillas de cordero I´d ever had. At a small bar on Calle Sacramento the fried chicken tapas was amazing. In fact the only place I was a bit disappointed with was the renowned Freiduria la Flores but ths is only relative and for a few euros you can stuff your face on all manner of fresh fried fish.

Oh and to finish off, out of the many heladerias I would definitely recommend a tarrina of helado from either the Salon Italiano or a place on Plaza Mina.

After that little lot a session down the gym would definitely be in order.