BAVARIAN BEERHOUSE

This dark place so thrilling and new
It's kind of like the opposite of an aerial view

Of course while Dos Hermanos were in munching in München we had forgotten that we had our own little piece of Bavaria not five minutes away from home in the shape of The Bavarian Beerhouse. I was catching up with a German ex-colleague of mine and he suggested we go there. I suspect this is the meeting place of choice for many Germans working in London. A place they can go and drink German beer, eat German food and have a good old moan about London’s high prices, dirty streets and crap public transport.

Located in a basement which used to be home to a Davy’s, a chain of City Wine Bars which specialised in a brew called Old Wallop served in Pewter Tankards (it always made me feel ill after drinking it). Now it doesn’t actually look much different except it’s a lot brighter and there are a few banners pinned up telling you where you are (the Bavarian Beerhouse dumpkopf !). The overall effect is much like my old University SU bar.

Similar atmos too. Instead of the relatively civilised experience of the Munich equivalent here it’s all loud and lairy and a bit uncouth. A typically British place then. The customers were mostly male (think more bad suits than in a busted flush) with a smattering of women all wearing that startled deer-caught-in-the-headlights look, wishing they were across the road in Fifteen. No you don’t, love.

Look a little bit closer though and all the elements of your typical Brauhaus are there: buxom German waitresses in dirndls; beer served in litre Maßkrüge; all manner of Schnitzels and Wurst and not forgetting the mighty Schweinshaxen which looked as frightening as it always does. There’s even the totally pointless Apfelstrudel (does anyone ever manage to eat pud in a Bavarian beer house ?).

Obviously we had to go for Schnitzel. Both my Wiener and my Prussian chum’s Jäger (which came with a rather gloopy-looking mushroom sauce) were massive. They were ok. They were bloody hard work. The large piles of pommes frites would have been better if the cooking oil had been changed recently. The side salads were unnecessary and remained untouched. If you’re going to be drinking large quantities of German beer then this food is probably the perfect match.

Still, if you get into the spirit of things (I can’t – it’s genetic) then I suppose you could have a fun time here. It’s not the ideal spot, say, for a date but would make a fine place to dump someone – any sobbing would be drowned out by the shouting and music. Even better come here when Germany play Austria in Euro 2008 and you can watch the two sets of supporters have a fight over whose Schnitzel is best. Prost !