GEALES: SOLE-NO SOUL

To be honest I never thought that two and half years after visiting the execrable Tom's Place - Tom 'Pre-Pack' Aiken's take on Fish and Chips (yeah, right) where the fish proved to be more sustainable than the business model - I'd be back eating one of DH’s favourite platefuls of grub in exactly the same place. Now, though instead of a lame pun, the gaff is named after the venerable Geales, part of the proto-chain owned by the excitingly named Concept Venues.

The first branch of Geales in Notting Hill has been operating under its current owners for over three years which surprised me as when I visited it was a step down in enjoyment from the original incarnation. So they've either upped their game or maybe the Notting Hillbillies are not that fussed about the food they shove down their gobs. I suspect it's the latter especially as in an odd case of restaurant déjà vu I had an almost identical experience here compared to the one several years ago.

The staff obviously weren’t expecting a punter so early – though it was almost 12:30 – and the cogs weren’t so much whirring as grinding noisily. The FOH was doing a little on-the-spot staff training with young, posh lads who were doing the waiting and I had to ask for things several times. A tad irritating in an empty restaurant.

Nobody seemed to know exactly what the charmingly named Seaside Pick & Mix was. I offered marinated shellfishy bits which they seemed to think was a reasonable description. It was, in fact, shellfishy bits which had been lightly warmed through. It was under seasoned and pretty tasteless but for £3 was a harmless enough way to kill some time until my Whitebait pitched up.

Happily the kitchen’s deep-frying skills were well up to snuff and the lightly battered, little fish were excellent. The mayonnaise could have done with a bit of pepping up but I suppose they didn’t want to make things too exciting for the elderly locals who were gradually filling the restaurant up. (I had to have a little chuckle when one couple on a neighbouring table who had been visiting this spot since the fifties went on about how much they hated the last place. So you see – it’s not just me. Hah).

My main course of Haddock and Chips was technically spot on. The fish had a crisp coating which had allowed the fish to steam inside but not overcook – it flaked in a pleasing fashion. But, and it’s a big but, it didn’t taste of anything. Whether it was lack of seasoning or possibly the batter needing some beer in the mix I don’t know, but I do know it was all very, very bland and consequently a very dull eat.

Chips were fine. Mushy peas had been made (correctly) from marrowfat peas but had not been soaked or cooked long enough so there were hard bits still in. Perhaps it was the kitchen taking their lead from lazy TV chefs and keeping things “a bit rustic”.

The other accompaniments? Well, my last post on Geales probably tells you everything you need to know. And like that last visit the best thing I ate was the Ice Cream, which was a pleasant change after the rash of places serving up expensive, gummy Gelati.

Overall though it still is a truism that the gussying-up of the humble F&C supper had somehow robbed the dish of any heart or soul. Either that or the kitchen had never actually eaten or made proper fish and chips before but could execute a recipe very accurately. Certainly, the latter may be the case as I saw a cracking piece of grilled Plaice go out.

That said, much like its sister restaurant in Notting Hill, Geales is located in an area not known for it’s great restaurants and discerning clientele which probably means it’ll will do very well. Me, I’m off to find somewhere where the phrase “neutral oil” could get you a smack round the chops.

GEALES

Geales

Drive West on Sunset to the Sea (A slight return)

Many, many years ago I used to live in Holland Park. Of course, Elsham Road being West of Holland Road, is in fact on the wrong side of the tracks so I never had the good fortune to bump into Michael Winner. What I did have though were several very good places to eat. A Thai restaurant (in the days when the curry didn’t come out of a packet), a couple of places on Addison Gardens (whose names escape me) and the ace Cibo where I broke the £100 barrier for the first time on a meal for two.

My favourite night out, though, was an indie flick at The Gate cinema or a blockbuster at The Coronet (the only cinema where smoking was allowed, some say compulsory). After the film it was de rigeur to pop next door into Geales for Fish and Chips (or sometimes Costas up the road). You’d order a pint or glass of wine from the separate business running the booze operation, eat Haddock and Chips cooked in beef dripping at gingham-covered tables and finish off with some ice-cream. It was a little piece of Yorkshire in Notting Hill.

Fast forward to a midweek lunch at the newly refurbed Geales now with Gary Hollihead (exec chef at The Embassy) at the helm. The restaurant was a few weeks late opening, as so many are these days. It can’t have been down to the décor which screams bland. They also, seem to have reduced the number of tables – the whole feels like an ill-fitting suit. There was a strangely ghostly feel about the place as well, exacerbated by the lack of custom although I was told it had been very busy for the past five days they had been open.

In spite of the small number of covers to look after, the service seemed distracted and confused, although well-meaning. Worse culprits were the bar staff who needed several goes to get a drink order right. Anyway, the food’s the thing, so after choosing from the previous day’s menu, getting the correct menu and ascertaining that Whitebait was no longer on I went for the Prawn Cocktail followed by the F&C, Mushy Peas, Pickled Onions and Tartare Sauce.

Prawn Cocktail is one of those dishes that, unless you’re going to do a full Ferrán and deconstruct the hell out of it, is better left in its classic form. Geales version, unfortunately, was neither classic nor wackily realised, just bland like the décor. The ‘marie rose’ component was a solid layer of cold mayonnaise with not enough kick. The prawns underneath were fresh enough but the taste was further blanded out by avocado (why ?). There were a few desultory pieces of lettuce and a whole lot of chopped spring onion (again why ?). As a final annoyance, someone had thought it a good idea to put the food into a lob-sided container (why oh why ?) making it difficult to scoop anything out. Maybe an non-opening lid would have been a good idea.

Happily, the Fish and Chips were better: a small fillet of Haddock was fresh and properly cooked in some good batter. There were some okay chips as well although the dish they came in was so tiny it could appear in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. Tartar sauce was non-descript and the sweet pickled onions were more like Italian marinated ones (Cippolina ?). Some new scientific technique was obviously involved in producing such a small portion of mushy peas (if that was what they were) and their flavour was obviously affected by the process: they were pretty nasty.

A selection of homemade ice cream to finish was one of the best things about the meal.

So after all this time was it worth the wait ? Not really. If you live in the area I suppose a visit would be harmless enough so long as you stick to F&C followed by the ice cream, avoid the mushy peas and get your drink order sorted out early. But in their attempt to gussy the place up they’ve stripped out all the soul (perhaps they did it just for the Halibut…sorry). The food and service just aren’t consistent enough to warrant a trip across town. Oh and I miss the tablecloths.

If you want fancy schmancy I would suggest Scott’s or JSheeky, if you want the proper stuff take a nice bottle of wine to the Golden Hind (probably not more than 15 minutes away by tube and foot). Trust me – I’m an Hermano.